I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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