So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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