Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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