dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
