somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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