in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
