all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So much Jack, so little girl.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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