after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
