i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
