I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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