I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
