She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
