Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
