looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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