Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
