Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
