Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
