I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
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