Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
