Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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