I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just gift wrapped bread.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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