we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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