Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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