so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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