I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
