that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
