I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
