Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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