I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
