Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
