She's JV to your varsity
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
