dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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