This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
