and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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