when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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