just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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