wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
