The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
