Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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