Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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