I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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