i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick