I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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