I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
