I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think your dad took our porno
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
