I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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