you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
