I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
