don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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