hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
they're like a gay fantastic four
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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