Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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