drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
