super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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