just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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