Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
