...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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