Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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