My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
