I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
