ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize