3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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