My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
