i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
