Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You smell like stripper and shame
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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